Scripture cards

I have recently come to realize that I do not have nearly enough of God's Word hidden in my heart. So one of my goals this week was to sit down and write a few verses that are meaningful to me right now in my life. I wrote them on index cards so that I can post them around my home. This one is especially speaking to me right now …

Let me say that again …

Better to be patient that powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city. Proverbs 16:32

Yep. 'Tis better to be patient than powerful. Yet I live as though opposite were true. {sigh}

That one is taped up over my computer. I think I should make several of just that one verse and post them everywhere! Including in the car. Especially in the car!

I have written a few others and need to tape them up … on my mirror, on my fridge, etc. Something so simple, yet so helpful for me. Why didn't do this before now??

What is God saying?

We left for our last camping trip on a Sunday afternoon. That morning was busy at church, but I was able to sneak away for a few moments and listen to the message. One thing was said that truly impacted me. Buddy (our pastor) talked about, among other things, how God speaks through creation.

They know the truth about God because he has made it obvious to them. For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God. (Romans 1:19-20)

and

The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship. Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known. They speak without a sound or word; their voice is never heard. Yet their message has gone throughout the earth, and their words to all the world. (Psalm 19:1-4)

and

In the past he permitted all the nations to go their own ways, but he never left them without evidence of himself and his goodness. For instance, he sends you rain and good crops and gives you food and joyful hearts.” (Acts 14:16-17)

And Buddy suggested that when we take notice of creation, for instance when we see a purple flower to ask God, "What are you saying?" That stuck with me while we were camping.

The next morning I awoke to birds singing in the trees. So I asked God, "What are you saying?" Immediately the song Amazed by Lincoln Brewster came to mind …

You dance over me

while I am unaware

You sing all around

But I never hear a sound … 

For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. (Zephaniah 3:17)

A wonderful way to wake up, don't you think? Still later that day we went hiking in the woods to see the Helton Creek Falls. They are somewhat secluded and if you don't know they are there you'll never go back into the woods as far as needed to see them. But we did. And as I was hiking and hearing the waters rush and crash from the falls I asked God, "What are you saying?" And He replied, "I am powerful." Yes. He definitely is.

At another point that day the girls were playing in the creek that ran behind our campsite. It is a lovely creek and the sound of the gentle babbling waters was glorious. Again, I asked God, "What are you saying?" and He replied, "I am powerful, yet I am gentle."

And again, I saw flowers just beginning to bloom and I asked, again, "What are you saying?" and He replied, "Look at what I can do!"

God is amazing. And I enjoyed an incredible week with Him simply reveling in His creation and listening to Him speak through it all. I highly recommend it … just will be amazed too!

oops!

uh oh ! Dropped while running this morning!

What to do … what to do … hmmm … Brandon really wants me to switch to t-mobile as it is less than ½ of what we're paying with at&t. Perhaps it's time … {sigh}





p.s. in case you're curious, that "sticker" at the bottom of my phone is part of my Polaroid skin from Infectious

Lent and Me

Here I sit after a good run this morning pondering what God is calling me to these days. I've enjoyed several nice mornings with Him lately, not the least of which was today. I've had Lent on my mind since Ash Wednesday was yesterday.

Growing up we never practiced Lent and I have long thought it to be some archaic practice for legalists or Roman Catholics, and not for me. But my heart is changing and each year of the last several I have sought to discover just what Lent means for me. In its simplest form Lent is simply a time of fasting from Ash Wednesday to Maundy Thursday. But really, it's much more than that. As Ann Voskamp sums it up so well,

"It’s the preparing the heart for Easter. Like going with Jesus into the wilderness for forty days, that we might come face to ugly face with our enemy. Our sacrificing that we might become more like Christ in His sacrifice"

And that's what it means for me. Sacrificing that I might become more like Christ in His sacrifice. Each year at this time I think about what I might sacrifice. And each year I think about sugar or yelling or something like that. And I make it for maybe a week. Then I cave. And then I forget.

But this year. This year seems … different. Yesterday I read Why Do Lent? Why A Failing Lent Actually Succeeds (& a Booklist). God spoke to me through her words. Sacrifice that you might be more like Christ in His sacrifice. I encourage you to visit Ann's blog and read her God-given wise words for yourself and see if they inspire you as they do me.

Coming face to ugly face with our enemy. Isn't that what Jesus did when He was in the wilderness for those 40 days? And so it is with me. I MUST come face to ugly face with my enemy. Over the recent weeks God has been steadily showing me how my enemy distracts me. From Jesus, from my family, from this precious life that He has granted me. Distractions. Some distractions seem good, many even seem so tiny they can't possibly be distractions. And yet they are distractions … from Him.

And so, for many reasons that I feel unable to articulate, not the least of which is that I allow it to suck time and life from me, I am giving up facebook for Lent. That may sound just silly to some. And I understand that. But for me it is huge. No, I don't find myself lost in Farmville or anything like that. It's simply that, well, it's a distraction. A big one. And I would be lying if I said that I thought it would be easy. I know I'll miss it. Late night chats with my sis-in-law, silly comments from friends that make me laugh. And … here's the brutal honesty … I'll miss the validation of myself and my activities from friends and family.

But if I am going to come face to ugly face with the enemy of my soul, then I must deal with the distractions from the Lord that present themselves to me. So here I go. Pray for me?






p.s. if you are a facebook friend and you want to get in touch with me, please comment here or email me: onecrazychicken at comcast dot net … thanks!! Love you friends!

Eat This Book

And he said to me, “Son of man, eat what is before you, eat this scroll; then go and speak to the people of Israel.” Ezekiel 3:1

Recently God has shown me how little of His Word I have truly hidden in my heart that I might not sin against Him. I've been thinking about it lately, about Scripture memorization. I read the Holy Experience blog and I adore Ann Voskamp. She talks about the subject a lot. And she shares many great tips and wise words. And honestly? It's because of selfishness that I don't practice this important discipline. When I have free time I want to spend it on me. And that's just the truth.

But always spending my free time on me, though it may be permissible, it is not beneficial (1 Cor. 10:23). God's teaching me a lot about that little verse these days, but that's for another post altogether. Back to Scripture memorization. Am I the only who finds it difficult?

I did come across this great recourse on Ann's blog:

http://www.downes.ca/memorization.htm

You simply copy Scripture and then paste it in the top box. Hit the convert button and you get the first letter of each word back. Like this:

That's my life Psalm … Psalm 139. I'm trying to hide it in my heart. I gotta tell ya so many obstacles come in my path. I have yet to fully memorize it, but it is my current goal. But this print out of just the  first letter of each word is helping me.

I'll not reinvent the wheel when Ann has great resources here regarding Scripture memorization. Do go and check them out for yourself if you are interested. Now I think I will go and work on my Psalm … ♥

EDITING to add: Just found THIS wonderful resource - Daily Audio Bible … just click on "Listen Now" and, well, listen now ;)

Home School Home

So … we've come full circle here in our home. We'll be homeschooling again beginning next school year. This is my research notebook:

We'll be using My Father's World Rome to the Reformation (as you can see above).

I was driving myself CrAzY with all the curriculum out there. There is SOOO much of it. I am thankful for having homeschooled in the past, so I am aware of philosophies and such already. So it was a just a matter of finding the right (read "PERFECT") curriculum for my girls.

Do you see all those notes above? Pages and pages were full of thoughts and ideas. And prices. Yes, it's not cheap. Oh, it can be if you want or need it to be, but right now I want neither. I was leaning toward Sonlight, but then I would lean toward My Father's World, or piecing it all together myself. Finally I was at the end of my researching rope. I had been praying about it all along, but Saturday morning I begged God to show me what to use. He gently let me know that I was asking Him the wrong question, that I need to be asking Him what HE wants me to teach my girls. So I did. And God, in His infinite wisdom, led me to use My Father's World for both my girls next year (and hopefully the next and the next). He knows just what I need and just what my girls need. And I can see now why it will be the perfect fit for us and for what we ALL need to learn.

I'm looking so forward to it. Lydia is looking forward to it (that's another praise that goes straight to the Father). Grace doesn't have any idea about it.

I plan on writing more later about what we're using and why, but I gotta run to work! Later ...

In Honor of {LIFE}

Life is a vapor. I received some bad news yesterday morning that a sweet friend and co-worker died. I'll not go into details, just know that it was VERY sudden, VERY unexpected, she was my age and leaves behind a precious family … a husband, Shane, two sons, Daniel & Mitchell, and a daughter, Amy (who is my own daughter's age). Please pray earnestly for them! She will be missed by so, so many people!

I have been asking the Lord, "What do you want me to learn, to see, to know in all of this?" I scroll through the vast outpouring of tributes and love and memories on her facebook page and there I saw it … legacy. LEGACY. She left an incredible legacy amongst her family and friends. I am reminded of the song by Nicole Nordeman …

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me

And I enjoy an accolade like the rest

You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery

Of all the who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best

At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights

We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'

But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides

The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy

How will they remember me?

Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough

To make a mark on things?

I want to leave an offering

A child of mercy and grace who

blessed your name unapologetically

And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile

To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy

It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile

Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

I want to leave a legacy

How will they remember me?

Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough

To make a mark on things?

I want to leave an offering

A child of mercy and grace who

blessed your name unapologetically

And leave that kind of legacy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred

Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So there I sat … thinking about LIFE … and LEGACY. What will people say about me when I die? How will they remember me? Will there be such tributes written about me?

Earlier in the week I viewed this trailer for a newly published book that I am eager to read:





Please watch that video. Watch it again. Oh, it pierces my heart each and every time I watch and listen to those lovely words. Life is not an emergency, yet I live as though it is. My eyes are not wide open. I've got to figure out a way to live with my eyes wide open.

I ordered that book on Monday and it arrived … yesterday … 4 days earlier than it was supposed to … on a day when I was asking the Lord, "What do you want to show me in all of this?"

Life. A gift. Holy, amazing, ordinary. {LIFE}

Current Prayers ...

This is my prayer these days:

Third Day - Revelation

My life has led me down the road that's so uncertain

Now I am left alone and I am broken

Trying to find my way

Trying to find the faith that's gone

This time I know that you are holding all the answers

I'm tired of losing hope and taking chances

On roads that never seem

To be the ones that bring me home

Give me a revelation

Show me what to do

'Cause I've been trying to find my way

I haven't got a clue

Tell me should I stay here

Or do I need to move

Give me a revelation

I've got nothing without you

I've got nothing without you

My life has led me down this path that's ever winding

Through every twist and turn, I'm always finding

That I am lost again

Tell me when this road will ever end

I don't know where I can turn

Tell me, when will I learn

Won't you show me where I need to go

Let me follow your lead

I know that it's the only way that I can get back home

Don't worry … it's a good thing … :)

Just Do It

My current reading material:

Guess what I am learning about? How did you know? ;)

I'm learning how to take care of my body. I've neglected it for 39 years. 39 YEARS! That's a long, long time. And really. I mean 39 years. I have NEVER taken care of my body. I've never been athletic. Oh sure, I played softball a couple of years when I was a kid, but I did nothing really stable or ongoing. And, of course, there have been times that I have dieted and exercised. But again, nothing really stable or ongoing for any length of time. And really, who wants to diet for any length of time?

Then my kids started swimming. Then my hubby started swimming again. Maybe you read my last post about this. I am really ready to make a real and lasting change. But it didn't start with food and it didn't start with exercise. It started in my heart.

I really cannot say enough good about the book "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst. God has used her honest and heartfelt writing to begin changing me. I'll write more in the coming days about what I have learned, suffice it to say that it is worth the $ and the time to read this book with an honest and open heart. It's not another diet or exercise book, it's simply about "satisfying your deepest desire with God, not food".

And The Sugar Solution. Wow. I have learned a lot that I did not know. I've always known that I had a problem with sugar, but learning the intricacies of how it affects the body. Eye-opening! And then there's Jillian. I ♥ her. She's my favorite trainer on the Biggest Loser. And reading "Master Your Metabolism" has also been eye-opening, both about eating and exercise, as well as about Jillian herself. We're 4 for 4 for the recipes in her cookbook. I think I'm going to have to buy it!

Goodness, I have learned so much in the past couple of weeks, between the fact that my body only needs less than a cup of glucose to function well during the day to my ability to get up and outside and run in the cold. And run well. I have also begun to learn what TRULY healthy eating looks like, and what it doesn't look like. Oh, I've had it all wrong for a long, long time.

I really want to share more with you, but my time here is done for right now. I promise to write later about some specifics that have helped me. Just know this: I have lost 3 pounds in the past week!

Thank you, Father, for this little taste of victory in order to show me how sweet and doable it really is!

 This is not a new year's resolution, this is a new life!

{life} is beautiful

When my hubby took the girls shopping for me for Christmas they told him that I wanted these car air fresheners:

He didn't believe them, but they insisted. And much to his surprise they were right. I ♥ them … what a great reminder, and one that I need, as I am galavanting around town! Stop. Smile. Breathe. Life is beautiful!

Word of the Year 2011

I was thinking about my word of the year the other day. In 2009 it was LOVE. In 2010 it was SELFLESS. This year it's …

God gave me that word just this morning. I made that photograph not too long after :)

I really wasn't even thinking about the new year or what my new word might be. But God whispered it in my ear today and I heard Him loud and clear.

Oh my, am I ever incredibly uptight! Seriously. It's bad. Really bad. It makes me irritable and easily frustrated and angry … a lot. And sad. And self-conscious. And many other negative words.

Words. I like words. You probably already know that. Because I like words I ♥ the thesaurus. Here are some synonyms for relax:

breathe easy, calm down, compose oneself, ease off, hang loose (I like that one), loosen up, rest, soften (ouch … that one speaks to me!), take it easy, unwind.

The definition of relax is equally convicting:

to become less tense, rigid or firm; grow milder; to reduce or stop work; to release oneself from inhibition, worry, tension (ooo another good one!).

In the coming year I hope to learn how to breath easy & hang loose and soften (not physically, of course!). I will become less tense, grow milder and release myself from inhibition (put on that Speedo and get to swimming!), release myself from worry and from tension.

I'm not big on New Years' resolutions per se. I do seek to improve myself in various ways throughout the year. But I find that the end of the year and the beginning of a new one is a good time for me to self-evaluate. Each year that I have been doing this I have come to the end of the year and seen how I have grown in the "word" and in the Word. I have learned a tremendous amount about the subjects of LOVE and SELFLESSness. And so at the end of 2011 I hope to say the same about RELAX.

What about you?

Blessings!

Aiming High

{warning ~ ♥ ~ long & very transparent post ahead}

My oldest started swimming this year. Long story short, we had her take some lessons along with her little sister, just so she could learn the basics of treading water, etc. To our surprise she LOVED it and now she swims year 'round on a swim team with Swim Atlanta. And our littlest isn't far behind … she's loving her swim lessons and hopes to be on a swim team soon too.

Then there's my wonderful husband. He grew up swimming for Swim Atlanta and decided to began swimming with the Master's team a couple of months ago. He loves it. He's shed some weight and feels great.

And then there's me. Fat. Almost 40. Out of shape. Never have really been in shape. And feeling every bit of it. I went shopping the other day to find something to wear for a wedding. Nothing fit me. I'm tired of that. I hate not being able to wear what I want to wear. I hate feeling so incredibly self-conscious EVERY place I go because I feel so fat and blah. I hate that I love winter just because I can wear clothes that cover me up. And that I don't like summer just because I can't cover myself up with clothes. I hate never being in pictures with my children because I hate the way that I look. We recently went to a party for hubby's swim team and I was embarrassed to be fat and out of shape amongst so many in-shape adults. I hate feeling like I am not projecting who I really am on the inside because I am fat and out of shape.

Or who knows. Maybe I am projecting who I really am on the inside … fat and out of shape and just plain lazy. Undisciplined. Self-centered (ooo there's that again!). All about satisfying my own pleasures in the moment. I feel like I've not been living. I've been sitting. And letting life pass me by. Hmmm. Yeah … perhaps this is who I have become on the inside. At least part of me anyway. I don't like it. I don't like this part of me.

I used to have a recurring dream (more like a nightmare) … I would go to school and then realize I was completely naked, but I had to stay and finish out the day - I couldn't leave. I was incredibly embarrassed. But get this … it wasn't because I was naked, but because I was fat (and naked).

I really want to begin running again … and keep it up. I enjoy running. But it seems there's always some reason not to do it. I have even finished Couch to 5K once, but didn't keep it up. I must confess it is hard (or is it easy to find a reason not to?) when I still have a little one at home. I always have that excuse. There isn't time … when will I go? Dear hubby just {right before I wrote this} worked out a schedule for me to be able to go because he knows that I want to. Ha! No excuses now!

And then there's swimming. I REALLY want to start swimming, but I've never swam a day in my life. OK, I know how to swim and tread water and not drown. I'm talking about the strokes and turns and all that. I would really love to be able to work out with hubby's swim team. HOWEVER … there's the swimsuit thing. Yes. In public. In a Speedo. {gasp}

So here's the thing ... I want to get into shape. Really. In shape. And lose weight. And change the shape of me (both outside and inside). I really don't want to be casual about it. I don't want to just have a "nice run" in the morning. No, I want to lose weight and get into shape and push myself. Really push myself. I want to run a 5K (totally doable) ... no, maybe a 10K should be my goal. Yes. That would be pushing myself (at least right now). You know what I would love? I'd love to do a sprint triathlon. I think that's doable. 750m swim, 20km bike, 5km run. But then there's biking. Maybe I shouldn't add that in the mix quite yet. :)

So I'm aiming high. I'm going to start running. I'll do the couch to 5K plan (it really is good and I have a great app for it on my phone). But then I WON'T STOP! I will continue training my body. Pushing myself physically. I just have to. I'm still young enough that I can do it. And despite my physical laziness the Lord has allowed my body to remain healthy, even though I don't take care of it as I should. I'm really convicted and inspired. Now if I can just keep that inspiration up. The other day my littlest one was trying to remember the phrase "Where there's a will, there's a way" and immediately I realized it's about my will. Conviction. Decision. Discipline. Intention. Will I or won't I? As my hubby said just last night to me, "Right now I still have control over my body … in a few years I may not, but for now, while I still can, I will."

Okay … no

I think I was a little too ambitious about this Christmas season. Remember this advent calendar I made? Can I tell you that we have yet to do one thing in it? Well, we did one - we made paper snowflakes. But we were also supposed to decorate the house with them. They're still sitting on my shelves waiting ever-so-patiently to be displayed in all their handmade glory. I feel bad about it. But honestly there is just no way to do something like this every.single.day. We have too much going on between swimming and shopping and birthdays (we have several in December ♥ ) and traveling. So I'm taking it down.

Yep. Bye bye cute little handmade advent calendar. I had good intentions, but it just is too much. Maybe next year? Nah. I'm learning how to do less so that I can be more!

Joy Comes in the Morning

Next time a sunrise steals your breath or a meadow of flowers leave you speechless, remain that way. Say nothing, and listen as heaven whispers, "Do you like it? I did it just for you." ~Max Lucado

This morning's sunrise:

I am a sucker for sunrises. And sunsets. But mainly it's the sunrises that I adore. I wasn't always this way. Only in the past couple of years have I cared. How sad is that? How many of God's glorious works have I missed out on?

Maybe I've changed because every morning this is my view:

I peer out over the empty, sleeping streets each morning and gaze at the dawning of the new day from this room. It's one of the reasons I like to rise so early in the morning. But I must confess that I don't seek the sunrise, it finds me. I wonder how much more beauty I might gaze upon if I were to be more purposeful to come here each morning just to watch the day begin.

God's teaching me lately about rest. Unfortunately I have a strong tendency to think that I have more capacity, so I must fill it up. Things … activities … projects … not bad things per se, some even good. But not all of them best for me. I am beginning to see that by saying yes to these things, then I am saying no to other things that really are more important in this life.

What humbugs we are, who pretend to live for Beauty, 

and never see the Dawn! ~Logan Pearsall Smith

1000 Things

I ♥ Thanksgiving. It's always been one of my favorite holidays. I think it's because it marks the end of my favorite season. Officially.  The day after Thanksgiving, Christmas always begins in my heart. It's been that way since I was a child. And I refuse to even think about Christmas until after Thanksgiving is over. And then there's all the food and family. One thing that I haven't been doing just for the holiday this year is think about what I am thankful for. {gasp}. Why? Because of this:

It's my 1000 Things notebook. In it I write everything that I am thankful for. Even Sharpie markers. EVERY.THING. I have listed serious things (such as an honest husband) to not so serious things (like Polaroids). They are numbered and dated each time I write.

I am daily recording my thanksgiving. It's cultivating a gratefulness in me that I don't think was really there before. Daily. Be thankful in {ALL} things … this is what I am learning to do.

I got the idea from Ann Voscamp, who is completely lovely … I am thankful for her ♥

So just a few details: the notebook is small (4x6) and has plastic covers so that I can carry it with me and it won't become damaged. I can replace the card in the front cover any time to change the design if I'd like (you know me and changing designs!). I bought this particular one at Borders, but you could really use any notebook you wish.

I encourage you to begin a 1000 Things notebook for yourself. It has really changed my perspective and grown gratefulness in my heart.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Retro Stereo

Raise your hand if you grew up with a console stereo in your living room. {raising my hand} Yeah, me too. And I LOVED it. My brother and I would play records and my Dad and I would dance (although I remember dancing with my Dad to the reel-to-reel we also had, but that's another story). When my parents decided to put our console stereo away I convinced them to hang on to it for me. I would take it off their hands one day. And I meant it.  I really loved that thing:

There it is over to the left.  That's me on my bike (that, yes, I still own) at 2 years old.  

And here it is again in the back at my 7th birthday party (and that's my brother standing there with his favorite Farrah Fawcett t-shirt).

Isn't it cool?  So back to our story.  My parents were holding on to it for me and it was stashed away in the basement.  As a teenager I loved it and longed for the day that it would be mine (even as CDs had become the newest thing).  But it was not to be so.  One night it rained heavily and flooded our basement.  The console was veneer and was damaged beyond repair (at least we thought so … now I know better!).  So my parents got rid of it and I grieved the day.

Fast forward to today.  Two thousand and ten.  The time of electronic music files and "perfect" sound.  And what do I want?  An old console stereo to play vinyl.  Brandon and I have been searching antique stores and sales and thrift stores and Craigslist.  And we finally found one this weekend.  Everything works and it's a lovely retro piece of furniture.  I ♥ its imperfections.  It's a tube radio (♥)  and needs some tweaking.  But the turntable spins and the needle works and we listened to the Police and the Beatles yesterday afternoon.  And you know what?  Vinyl doesn't sound as bad as I remember.  I think I must have fallen victim to the latest and greatest advertisements in the 80s and 90s.  It actually sounds really really good!

That last one is my favorite … it makes me :)

Much like the Polaroids (and I just bought another {new} one by the way) some people think I am a bit odd that I ♥ this thing.  And they would be right.  I am a bit odd.  But I like what I like.  I won't apologize for that.  It's perfectly imperfect, just like me :)