Okay … no

I think I was a little too ambitious about this Christmas season. Remember this advent calendar I made? Can I tell you that we have yet to do one thing in it? Well, we did one - we made paper snowflakes. But we were also supposed to decorate the house with them. They're still sitting on my shelves waiting ever-so-patiently to be displayed in all their handmade glory. I feel bad about it. But honestly there is just no way to do something like this every.single.day. We have too much going on between swimming and shopping and birthdays (we have several in December ♥ ) and traveling. So I'm taking it down.

Yep. Bye bye cute little handmade advent calendar. I had good intentions, but it just is too much. Maybe next year? Nah. I'm learning how to do less so that I can be more!

Who Knew??

I planned on spending a lot of time this summer working on my house. I knew that the lack of a schedule would afford me the opportunity to spend some good time purging, rearranging and redecorating. My house is so in need of it … it's LONG overdue! But today I realized that it's not happening. At least not in the way that I had planned.

Proverbs 16:9 says "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."

Who knew that instead of giving my house some TLC this summer I would be giving my HOME some TLC. That's right. My HOME, not my house … it's being purged, rearranged and redecorated.

My house is still in a mess … there's still too much stuff here and so much that needs to be cleaned and organized. But my family was … IS … in need of attention. And they get first priority.

And as I have come to this realization I find myself breathing a sigh of relief! For the past few days I have been a little bent out of shape that I still haven't really accomplished much around here (physically) and it's already July 7th. BUT in reality SO MUCH is being accomplished. Oh, the details will come later. Suffice it to say that the Lord has determined my steps for this summer and they aren't really the course that I had planned. He has me working diligently on my home … my family and myself … rather than on my house.

His thoughts are not my thoughts and my ways are not His ways. His ways & His thoughts are higher than mine. A few weeks ago I found myself truly humbled before the Lord and asked that He would grant me wisdom. Praise His name He gives generously without finding fault!!

This purging that is happening in my home, this rearranging and redecorating, it's MUCH harder than any physical work I could be doing on my house at the moment. But it's oh, so worth it. I pray that I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me!

Tasks and Interruptions

In my quest to become more Christlike and less me-like I have been trying to understand my selfishness so that I can overcome it, as you probably know if you've been reading my blog. When I have weeks like this past week I'm even more determined to conquer this issue.





That is an accurate picture of me this past week.  Granted I had PMS, but still.

One of the blogs I read is Simple Mom. She always has good advice and right perspective. And she has fabulous cleaning advice! Anyway, last month she had a guest post about understanding your personality. I found the post quite intriguing.

Mandi compares task-oriented vs. people-oriented personalities. And she discussed the need for balance in both personalities. After reading the post I had yet another clue into myself. She said that task-oriented personalities tend to:

* Focus on their to-do list and the things they hope to accomplish.
* Be concerned with productivity and efficiency.
* Have concrete goals and detailed lists.

That would be me. And I'm really bad about neglecting important relationships in favor of my to-do list.

She says that there are steps I could take to balance myself between tasks and people. For instance:

1. Schedule time to focus on the people around you and commit to setting aside your to-do list during that time.

2. Consciously make eye contact when your husband or children speak to you so that they have your full attention, even though you may be tempted to multitask.

3. Add relationship-building tasks to your to-do list, such as sending birthday cards, calling your mom or having a date night with your husband.

4. Go outside, to the library, or to a museum where you can just enjoy being with your family without the distraction of things that need to be done.

I need to post this list on my fridge or something. I have a very difficult time setting aside my to-do list and I am always multitasking. ALWAYS. If someone gets a birthday card from me that is a miracle! And it's not because I don't care. Absolutely not. It's simply that I don't place enough importance on relationship building tasks.

And when I'm somewhere like the library (which we visit a lot) I am always working on something. I'm almost never just living in the moment. Rather, I'm almost always thinking about things that need to be done. And I'm sure I miss a lot of life because of that.

Because I am task-oriented I have a huge problem ... I hate - HATE - to be interrupted when I am working on a task (which would be always, so I always hate to be interrupted). I was watching Footloose last night. Yes, I was. It was late and I was still awake. So I watched it and started thinking about how Rev. Shaw Moore was more task-oriented than people-oriented and it caused so many problems. There's a scene where Ariel, his daughter, tries to speak to him late one night while he is working on a sermon at his typewriter. He doesn't stop working and he doesn't make eye contact with her. He barely acknowledges her. So rather than say what she wanted to say to him, she just says goodnight.  I'm afraid that's how I am with my kids much of the time. Dear Lord, what am I missing?  What problems I am causing?

Interrupt: to stop, to break, to interfere, to disturb.  I see those words as bad things, but I think I need to change my perspective about interruptions.  If I want to be more Christlike and less me-like then rather than hating interruptions I need to embrace them.  Jesus' birth was an interruption.  Many of the healings that He did were the result of interruptions.  The children interrupted Jesus and when the disciples got upset about it He said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

Kelly King writes on her blog, "How did Jesus handle interruptions? I think He welcomed them. What happened when Jesus WAS the interruption? He transformed lives so that He would be glorified."

I need to embrace interruptions.  I need not see them as personal attacks on me and my time and my tasks.  I'm afraid that I have had an entirely WRONG perspective.  Oh Father, forgive me for putting any THING in a position of importance greater than my children, than my husband, than people.




Even as I write this my children are interrupting me and I really want to finish this and I feel myself become irritated.  Oh Lord, I need your strength and you grace!  

Loving and Learning How to Design & Decorate

Up until about a year or so ago I really hadn't a lot of interest in decorating.  Well, I take that back.  I did, just not in my house.  I didn't feel settled for one reason or another.  But I began to feel more like this was our home and so I started some room redecorating projects.  I did the girls' rooms first and they turned out great.

This is Lydia's room:



Oh my … it doesn't look like this right now!  Goodness that girl needs to clean up her room!  Let me just look at that lovely, CLEAN room for a bit.  Ahhhh.  In a minute I will get up and walk past it in its current state and I might scream.  One more look …. OK ...

For some reason I don't have pix of Grace's room on Flickr, but I did hers too.  It's a lovely light green and very happy.

But that was all LAST Spring.  And since then I haven't done much in the house.  I got kind of lazy over the summer and I let my garden grow out of control.  But this fall when Lydia went back to school I found myself wanting to take the time to make this our home.  So I began learning what I could and gathering inspiration and reading reading reading.

Firstly, I ♥ blogs.  I use Google Reader to organize and access all my feeds.  And I love to read blogs.  I have so many feeds in my reader that every day I have about 400 that I could read.  Seriously, right now it says I have 252 feeds unread.  That's a lot.  And I already read most of them this morning!  So I skim.  But there are several that are must reads for me every day.  I was going to list them here, but wowzers it's a long list and I just don't have time to make all those links!  I get a lot of ideas from these blogs!

So while I am going through Reader and looking at all my feeds I right click on the ones that I want to save and open them in a new tab.  When I am done going through Reader and opening up the posts I want to save, then I go to each one and bookmark it on Delicious.  I ♥ Delicious.  It's such a simple way to keep track of everything that I find inspiring or projects that I want to tackle at some point.

The other thing that I do is READ READ READ.  I ♥ the library and I ♥ magazines.  When I'm at the library I like to peruse the decorating section and pick up books to bring home.  Now, my style is not really House Beautiful or Traditional Home.  No.  I'm more the Flea Market Style and Fresh Home and Country Living kind of girl.  I also love Better Homes and Gardens.  And many of their special publications, like Do it Yourself Magazine.

I buy the magazines rather than checking them out from the library because I have an inspiration notebook.  After I read the magazines I go through and tear out all the articles and pictures that I like and put them in my notebook.  I ♥ my idea notebook.  I have several magazines that I need to go through at the moment!  Fun times for me :)

So there … that is how I am learning about decorating and I am loving it.  If I get a chance later I might post the main blogs that I read.  I'm off now to read those 252 unread feeds in my reader …

What Does it Look Like?

I have been pondering fruit. No, not apples and oranges and strawberries (although it's just about strawberry picking time!). It's the fruit of the Spirit. Oh, how I lack it ... truly lack it. What I don't lack, however, is from the list Paul writes just before he details the fruit. The fruit of the flesh. You know, Galatians 5:19-21 ...

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these.

I won't go into details ... let's just say that I struggle with more than one of them, OK? And don't forget that the list isn't exhaustive. Paul says at the end, "and things like these."

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control

Now which would I rather have - the fruit of the flesh or the fruit of the Spirit? Definitely the fruit of the Spirit. But how do I get this fruit? I can't conjure it up. I can't make myself have love and joy and peace and all those things. I can't work to earn them. It's nothing of me - that would be fruit of the flesh. It's the fruit of the SPIRIT.

You know, just like I talked about how I have a divided heart when it comes to selfishness vs. selflessness, I think I also have a divided heart on this issue too. That seems to be becoming a theme with me. Perhaps the Lord is showing me that is the root of my many issues.

Seriously. If I'm truly honest (which I want to be) then I have to admit that many times I want to indulge the desires of the flesh. There. I said it. It's true. Of course, I know that is not good and what the desires of the flesh lead to. Nevertheless in my heart there exists desire to be fleshly. And I've thought about this and I'm not talking about that struggle we all have between the flesh and the Spirit. I'm talking about an actual want to be fleshly. I don't really know why unless, perhaps, it stems from my incredible selfishness and desire for self-preservation. I think that I may be onto something here.

Yuck. Really? I mean, REALLY? Is that really the state of my heart? Yep ... it's true. I don't want to give up my fleshly desires just like I don't want to give up my selfishness. Well that's just ugly. I don't like that at all about myself. But there it is. It's true and it's not pretty.

What can I do? I cannot change my own heart on this. The Lord knows that I have given much effort to changing my heart in the past. And it has never worked. Any changes that have taken place in my heart in the past have all been the result of His Spirit working in me, for His glory and not my own.

What I can do is what Paul says in verse 16: But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. But what does that look like? Once again the Lord refuses to lay out a plan, a formula, for walking in the Spirit. Crud! That's actually a good thing, I know. Formulas tend to replace faith. I know that. But if I just knew what that looked like ...

If I Google "walking by the Spirit" I'm sure to come up with tons of formulas that people have attempted to put together. But none of them work. They're all procedures and fixed methods and rules. But that's not what my relationship with the Lord is about. It's not about rules, it's about relationship. I think that's why He didn't spell it out for us. he just said, "Walk by the Spirit."

So I  need to be truly walking by the Spirit. How? What does that look like for me? I have to figure this one out!

Live and Learn ...

Every time I say "Live and learn" I have to finish it with "and then get Luvs." Ugh. The power of advertising! Anyway, I have lived and learned. And one thing that I always say is that a mistake isn't a bad thing if you learn from it.

So. I've made several mistakes lately when it comes to refinishing furniture. First, I followed what I thought was good advice because it was on the Young House Love website. It's a good site with good information, so I though that their info about painting wood furniture was correct. Let me just say that … it wasn't.



I sanded and painted two tables and the finish is, well, just OK. It's pretty thick and still, to this day, a little gummy and I followed their advice exactly. Fast forward to the day I painted a fabulous window seat/bookcase that my Dad built for me. I followed the same advice again and it turned out HORRIBLY. I cried it was so bad.

I found out later, after reading The Frugal Girl, that your best friend is Rustoleum Painter's Touch Primer. And it is. I love this stuff immensely!



Look at that fabulous woodgrain showing through! It adheres so incredibly well! I used it (and The Furgal Girl's instructions) when I refinished this:



And all is well … that play kitchen has Rustoleum Painter's Touch Primer and Rustoleum Painter's Touch semi-gloss paint. And it's fabulous! Oh, if only I had known. Oh, and I didn't put polyurethane on it!

Fast forward again to today. I just completed building this media base cabinet with my Dad.



It is incredible! That picture above is in the process before the final trim was applied. I ♥ it so much! We spent a lot of time on it and it means a lot to me, having built it with my Dad. So when it came time to paint it I wanted to make sure I did it right. Do you think I followed advice #1 or advice #2? That's right … I went with #2. I learned from my mistakes and there was no way I was gonna mess this up. Or so I thought!

I primed it (it was going so well) and painted it (again, going so well) and then yesterday I began to put water-bassed polyurethane (as recommended) on it. I figured since it would be in the living room it should have that extra protection. Plus I do like how it changes the look of this particular paint just a bit. So I waited the 3-4 hours between coats and then proceeded to do the next step that the can says - sand lightly with 220 grit sandpaper between coats. HA!!!!

Let's just say at least I was smart enough to test it out on an inconspicuous place first. OH THE HORROR! That step is so that the second coat of poly will adhere to the first coat. Apparently, that step is for when you are staining and not when you are painting. You see, it made the poly very grey and very dull. Eek!

I fixed it as best as I could. I then decided that was it. No more poly. Time for the poly to cure for 72 hours so I can finally finish this project. Later while reading some articles I came to find out that the true purpose of polyurethane is get into the grain of the wood and seal it. But applying it over paint is really kind of pointless as it doesn't really seal the paint. If you have prepared (sanded well) and primed (using Painter's Touch!) correctly, then your paint should adhere just fine and you shouldn't have any problems.

Mistake made … lesson learned. In the future it's all Rustoleum Painter's Touch for me! I wish they made it in 5-gallon buckets!

p.s. here's a sneak peak at the cabinet:



The paint is actually much darker, I was just playing around with photoshop :) Well, I'm off for another day of projects. Enjoy yours!

A New year ... A New Word

At the end of every year I spend some time evaluating my life and evaluating myself. I don't really make resolutions (those always get broken), but I do think about what I need to improve on, focus on for the future. The end of the year is a good time for me to look back and see areas of improvement and areas of need within myself.

One way that I do this is by selecting a word for the year. In looking back on the year I ponder what seems to be the thing that God is focusing on teaching me at that time. In 2009 my word was LOVE. I knew at the end of last year that I really needed to learn how to love, that I didn't really understand what real love was. Interestingly I learned an incredible amount about what real love is during this past year. But it took almost the entire year for there to be some real change in my heart, in my attitude, and in my behavior. My heart was warmed just the other night when my oldest told me that she could see a change in me. Just thinking about that fact makes me smile so big. And I notice it too. I sense the change in me that has become a real and lasting change, not just a fleeting "I'm trying harder" change.

Well, here we are at the end of another year. I have being giving thought to what I want my word for 2010 to be. Lately the Lord has been showing me how consumed I am with myself. Really. It is absurd. And I have always been this way. Oh, I have made some improvement in this area over the years, but I am still ridiculously self-absorbed.

If you know me at all then you know I ♥ the dictionary and definitions and synonyms and antonyms. So here are a few definitions and such for selfish:

–adjective
1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself

Synonyms:
conceited, egoistic, egoistical, egomaniacal, egotistic, egotistical, individualist, individualistic, megalomaniac, narcissistic, pompous, self-absorbed, self-centered, self-concerned, self-indulgent, self-interested, self-loving, self-serving, selfish, stuck-up, vainglorious, wrapped up in oneself

Yep. That about sums it up.

So. I've been mulling over just the right word for 2010 and I think it's going to be: SELFLESS. Yes. That's the word. Selfless. I hope and pray that at the end of 2010 I will be be able to say that I have changed, just as I am able to say about 2009.

Happy New year and blessings to you all!!