Becoming

That's the newest word I have found to describe myself … becoming.  The dictionary defines it as to come, change, or grow to be; to come into being.  Such a lovely word, too, and heavy with meaning.  Becoming ...

I sit here at my computer wanting … needing … to describe to you, to tell you what is churning in my soul.  But I don't know what it is.  I cannot seem to put my finger on it exactly.

Emotional.  That word would describe my heart these days.  So would the words searching, disturbed,  questioning … those describe me these days as well.  And I read those words I just wrote and it sounds so … dark.  But I'm not in a dark place at all.  If anything I'm running into marvelous Light!  And as that wonderful song says, I feel as though I am being awakened from a long, deep sleep.

Awakened.  Yes … that is the word that I am searching for.  But to what?  I'm not quite sure.  And I know I'm not fully awake yet.  No, no … It seems that I'm still very much asleep.  I'm only just on the edge of waking from my sleep.  There is a stirring deep in my soul.  And wakefulness is coming.  I can sense it.  I know it's on its way.